 Think about it. Mamoru has black hair and blue eyes. Usagi has blond hair and blue eyes. So WHY does a child of theirs have pink hair and EVIL red eyes? TELL ME WHY!
Urr, ahem. -.-
Well, don't give me any "recessive genes" crap. :p I have the answer right here!
Yes, Usagi is the mother of Miss Yamhead (that's my name for Chibi-Usa)... but Mamoru is NOT the father. The father is... *DRAMATIC BOOMING ON THE BASS DRUM*
HAWKS EYE!o.O;;;
 | Hawk: Nani?! This cannot be... Ru ru ru... *le sob* |
 | Moon and Chibi-Moon: EH!?!? |
-.-;;;
^^; Well, just think about the similarities:
1. Hawks Eye has pink hair, as does Chibi-Usa.
2. Hawks Eye has spiky hair; Chibi-Usa has spiky-looking yam-shaped... things. --;;;
 | It's da yams! o.o;;; No wonder Peruru left... -.-;;; |
3. Hawks Eye has red-brown eyes; Chibi-Usa has red eyes. (Clear Eyes? ¬.¬)
4. Chibi-Usa was practically the only person who called Hawks Eye "kakkoi" ("cool"/"handsome"), and as everyone knows, Chibi-Usa only finds the father figures attractive. ¬.¬
5. Hawks Eye wears skirts; Chibi-Usa wears skirts. o.O
6. Hawks Eye likes older women; Chibi-Usa like older men. ¬.¬
7. Hawks Eye has caused people to wonder what Naoko was smoking when she created his character; Chibi-Usa has caused people to wonder what Naoko was smoking when she created her character.
^^;;; XD
So, as you can see, it is quite obvious why Hawks Eye is the real father of Chibi-Usa.
"But wait!" you say, "If Hawks Eye likes older women, then why would he father a child with Usagi?"
Well, let me explain, grasshopper. *sits all serene and wise like an old Tae Bo guru type person* ^^v
You see, Chibi-Usa isn't born until a long time into the future - by that time, Usagi would be a MUCH older woman, which is what Hawks Eye likes.
Besides, who's to say Usagi didn't rape Hawks Eye? I mean, think about it, people! Short skirts and high heels and that "I will punish you" speech - you KNOW that innocent airhead facade is hiding a dominatrix nature. ;_; Just look!
 | Hawk: Please, Usagi, no more for tonight! I have a headache! PLEASE! ONEGAI!!! ;_____; |
How have other people taken the news of Chibi-Usa's true parentage? Let's have a look...
 | Mamoru: *does the dance of joy* NYAHA! I knew I didn't father that brat! Now I can go shag Fiore! XD |
o.o; ... And now, let's see how the Yam herself is dealing with the news!
 | Chibi-Usa: I'm so disappointed that I wasn't really lusting after my own father that I'm gonna forget my troubles by gorging on my ugly cookies! *KURRUNCH* Then, I'm gonna go lust after my REAL father! XD *MUNCH MUNCH CHEW* |
o.o;;; Wow. I know Hawks Eye is a villain, but don't you feel sorry for him now? You do? GOOD! :D Since you feel that way, why don't you vote for him in the next election?
(VOTE HAWKS, CUZ HOX ROX!!! ^.~)THE END
*** This page was brought to you by Wham, Bam, No Thank You Yams. xp
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